10 Things No One tells you about postpartum
While I expected postpartum to be difficult, I didn’t realize how hard it would be until I went through it myself. It was one of the most draining periods of my life, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I had to deal with the healing process after childbirth, breastfeeding agony, emotional breakdowns, and even hallucinations due to extreme lack of sleep.
All while caring for a newborn who appeared to cry all the time. Due to the ongoing need for breastfeeding every 1-2 hours, day and night, sleep became a rare luxury, and when it did arrive, it was fractured into 30- to 60-minute segments. Simply put, it was a trying period for me, and I was just keeping my head above water.
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While each woman’s experience is different, the first week was the most difficult for me, and things steadily better as each week passed. I didn’t feel that sudden feeling of overwhelming love for my daughter at first, due to tiredness and emotional drain, which left little room for anything other than survival instincts.
Looking back, I believe the primary reason of this was tremendous sleep deprivation and our newborn’s persistent crying unless she was fed or asleep. In the midst of it all, I entered motherhood with misguided expectations, persuaded by deceitful portrayals of childbirth and its aftermath from social media influencers,
not to mention their allegedly flawless appearances. This had a severe impact on my emotional well-being because I was constantly comparing myself to them. In view of things, I feel they had plenty of help, an easy baby, and carefully covered the more challenging tasks in order to offer an image of enjoyable moments.
Therefore, I’d like to share my honest discoveries and what I wish I’d known about the postpartum time. If you are a first-time mom or an expecting mom, my goal is that these insights will help you mentally prepare better than I did. And if you’ve been there and can relate to my situation, know that you’re not alone. You can also check out These Top 10 Postpartum Recovery Must-Haves For A Speedy Recovery
10 Things no one tells you about Postpartum
(1) Although everyone mentions that breastfeeding is difficult, few explain the details…
In the beginning, it is incredibly painful. The constant sucking on your nipples leaves them with no time to heal since feeding occurs around the clock.
You must put up with the discomfort in order to stimulate and regulate milk flow. It’s very common for nipples to crack or bleed, but thankfully, I used this Nipple butter
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and this nipple cream
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after every feeding and avoided these problems. Aside from the physical discomfort, being exclusively responsible for your baby’s food and nutrition is mentally stressful. The regular overnight feedings were exhausting. I didn’t love breastfeeding at first and considered quitting several times due to the mental and physical toll it took. However, I’m glad I kept with it since it eventually became effortless, and I now actually love the experience.
(2) The Arrival Of Breast Milk
It takes 3-5 days for your breast milk to come in, and when it does, your breasts might become extremely firm and painful. After giving birth, your breasts produce colostrum, a rich and nutrient-dense type of milk.
The actual breast milk usually appears a few days later, and mine arrived on day 5, right after I had a minor meltdown. Your breasts may become engorged and uncomfortably stiff once the milk begins to flow. Due to the influx of milk, you may have a little temperature.
Check my other post on Breastfeeding Tips. Warm compresses and gentle massage of your breasts might help relieve pain and encourage milk flow. For added smoothness check out the Lansinoh Breastfeeding Starter Set
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(3) Emotional Resentment towards Partners
It’s funny now, but back then, I couldn’t help but feel jealousy of my husband, simply because he was a man. I was angry that he didn’t have to go through the agony of childbirth, the healing process, the difficulties of breastfeeding, or the continual sleep deprivation.
(4) Postpartum bleeding can persist for up to six weeks
The bleeding was so intense during the first two days that it seeped through the bedsheets. Fortunately, I was still in the hospital, and the staff cleaned and changed my clothes for me. Get Disposable high-waisted postpartum underwear for the job.
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The bleeding had stopped by the time I got home on day three, but it continued for another two weeks. After that, it became spotting and finally ceased around the fifth week. I vividly recall the delight of wearing actual underwear without pads for the first time; it was a lovely feeling.
(5) Sitting down can be painful in the early stages.
There’s a good reason why they recommend bed rest for the first week or two. I made the mistake of sitting on an outdoor couch for an hour just one week after giving birth, and when I got up, it felt like I had taken a step back in the healing process. I experienced intense pain and soreness in that area due to the pressure exerted. If you must sit, I recommend using a donut pillow to avoid putting pressure on your vagina. It’s essential to allow it to breathe during those initial weeks.
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(6) The linea nigra (pregnancy line) takes months to fade.
As I write this three months postpartum, I still have the linea nigra line, although it has significantly faded. My belly button, too, remains darker than before, although it has returned to its innie state.
(7) Sleep is incredibly important. Do whatever you can to get rest
Even If It Means Asking Your Husband/Partner To Leave The Hospital Room (Or House) With A Crying Baby So You Can Take A Nap. “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” everyone advises, but I found that advice useless because it seemed obvious to me. My only chance to sleep was when my baby was sleeping, and I wished for more opportunities to sleep when she wasn’t so I could recharge my batteries.
Unfortunately, her naps were just 30 minutes long, both day and night. I was either breastfeeding her or soothing her cries while she wasn’t asleep. In the beginning, sleep deprivation made me really sad. Because I was exclusively nursing, I was the only one who could feed her every 1-3 hours, requiring 24-hour attention.
You might be wondering why I didn’t feed the baby formula. To be honest, I didn’t use formula because I wanted to build a breastfeeding relationship based on demand and supply. I believed that allowing the baby to regulate my milk production was the best method, and fortunately, I never experienced undersupply. Having my husband feed the baby would have added more work, as is stated in the next point.
(8) Pumping takes longer and requires more effort than breastfeeding.
Although nursing was painful at first, I soon learned that pumping was considerably more difficult. Pumping included a number of tasks, including: putting on a pumping bra, pumping, feeding, cleaning the pump parts and bottles, sterilizing, and preparing the bottle for feeding.
Some women choose to pump so that their spouses can feed the baby while they take a rest. However, I found it inefficient because it quadrupled the workload and required many trips to the kitchen. Breastfeeding, on the other hand, was easier and faster—just drop out your breast and there was nothing to clean up afterward, other than the occasional sticky chest from spit-up or spilled milk. Ironically, now that I’m used to it, I’ve learned to enjoy breastfeeding.
(9) You will find yourself crying for the most unexpected reasons, and it’s completely normal.
I was an emotional wreck for the first week and cried more than I had ever cried in my life. As someone who is normally unemotional, I thought I was going insane until I spoke with other mom friends who had had similar experiences. The hormonal rollercoaster, combined with the overwhelming changes and transition to parenthood, resulted in regular episodes of crying.
Even when I had the opportunity to sleep, I found it difficult to do so due to my heightened emotions and worry. I recall being so dizzy that I wept myself to sleep for fear of hallucinating again. When I awoke, I shed tears of joy because I was relieved to have finally gotten an hour of sleep. The first week after giving birth felt like an endless emotional roller coaster.
(10) Remember that everything you experience is normal, and there’s no need to feel guilty about any of it.
Many changes occur after giving birth, and adapting into your new position as a mom is a huge change with a high learning curve. It’s the equivalent of starting a new full-time job with no prior experience.
The pressure to be the perfect mom, along with our own dreams, can be overwhelming. Being a mother is constant work and extremely exhausting, but it is also one of the most rewarding experiences one can have.
Never feel guilty about anything during the postpartum period because you have every right to feel that way and all of your experiences are entirely natural. Remember, you’re doing a fantastic job—after all, you’ve given birth to a miracle baby—and you’ll get through this! Mama, you’ve got this. xoxo
